Overcoming Perfectionism: Learning to Let Go and Let God
I’ve been working hard on two big projects lately—revitalizing my YouTube channel, Lifesong Memories Today, and building a new blog about my journey with Jesus, The Star and the Lamb. One of them has felt easy to make progress on, the other… not so much.
Updating videos? No problem. It’s been fun to refresh old content, tweak things here and there, and just keep moving forward. I don’t get too caught up in every little detail because, at the end of the day, I know I can always improve things later.
But this new blog? This one is personal. Every word feels important. Every post feels like it needs to be just right. I catch myself overthinking, rewriting, and hesitating to hit “publish” because it’s not quite perfect yet. And that’s when I realized—I’ve fallen into the perfectionism trap again.
I don’t know why I give myself grace on one and not the other. Maybe it’s because my blog feels like a reflection of my deepest thoughts and beliefs. Maybe it’s because this space feels more permanent, more vulnerable. But either way, I know this: perfectionism is holding me back. It’s stopping me from sharing, from growing, from doing what I know I’m called to do.
So, I’m writing this not just for you, but for me, as a reminder that progress matters more than perfection. That the things we hold closest to our hearts shouldn’t be the things we hold back. That God doesn’t ask us to be flawless—He asks us to be faithful.
And that’s exactly why I started Lifesong Memories Today and The Star and the Lamb. One is a collection of the places that have me and Sheila’s hearts, captured in video and shared with others. The other is where I wrestle with faith, doubt, and everything in between—trying to make sense of this journey God has me on. Neither one is perfect, but both are pieces of me. And I’d rather share them imperfectly than not at all.
Chasing Something Unreachable
I used to think being a perfectionist was a good thing. That it meant I had high standards and a strong work ethic. But over time, I realized that perfectionism wasn’t pushing me forward—it was holding me back. Instead of finishing things, I’d get stuck. Instead of celebrating progress, I’d focus on the flaws. Instead of trusting that what I created had value, I’d assume it wasn’t good enough.
I still struggle with this. I still want things to be just right. But something shifted in me when I started walking this cancer journey. I don’t have to waste time worrying about whether something is flawless. I just want to do the things that matter—to me, to my gurl, to God. And that means letting go of perfection and leaning into something better: progress.
Progress Over Perfection
There’s this story I love about a ceramics class. The students were split into two groups—one group was told they’d be graded on the quality of a single perfect pot, and the other group was graded on quantity (the more pots they made, the better their grade). The funny thing? The students who made more pots actually created the bestones. Because they weren’t caught up in making one perfect thing—they just kept creating, learning, and improving along the way.
That hit home for me. Because I’ve spent too much time trying to get everything just right before I move forward. And I’m starting to see that I don’t need to. I just need to keep going.Keep creating, keep learning, keep trusting that God can use what I bring—even if it’s a little messy.
Failing, Fearing, and Finding My Way Back
I’m not great at giving myself grace. I mess up, I fall short, I let fear creep in. But every single time, God reminds me: It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being faithful.
Peter walked on water, but he still sank. Moses led the Israelites, but he still doubted. David was a man after God’s own heart, but he still failed—big time. And yet, God still used them.
If He could use them, He can use me. And He can use you, too. Not because we have it all together, but because He does.
Letting Go of Control
At its core, perfectionism is about control—trying to make sure everything goes according to plan so we don’t have to deal with failure, discomfort, or criticism. But the truth is, we’re not in control. He is.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”– Proverbs 3:5-6
I’ve spent a lifetime trying to manage outcomes, but cancer has made one thing abundantly clear: I don’t call the shots. And honestly? That’s a relief. Because when I let go of the need to control everything, I open myself up to something better—peace… the single word I used when Pastor Connie from New Joy Church in Westfield asked me what I was searching for.
Embracing the Journey
I’m still learning to let go. Still learning to trust. But I do know this: life is too short to be stuck in perfectionism. I’d rather create, share, and grow than sit on the sidelines waiting for something to be “just right.”
So here’s my challenge—to myself and to you: Let’s stop chasing perfection and start embracing progress. Let’s stop being so afraid of messing up and start trusting that God can use our imperfect efforts for something bigger than we can imagine.
Because life isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. It’s about being faithful. And it’s about learning, failing, and finding our way back to the path He’s set before us—over and over again.
🎥 YouTube: Lifesong Memories Today – where I share revitalized video postcards from around the world.
